The Devil And/In Me
Mood: Dumping excess mental baggage
Music: Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song
I am a self-proclaimed dreamer, which makes it apparently obvious that I often like to remember my dreams and study their meanings.
I've dreamt a lot about lots of stuff which I often times tell my friends about, for consultation. After talking about it with my friends, discussing its potential meaning, I just let the dream go and eventually forget it.
There is, however, one dream (or in this case, nightmare) that I've never forgotten. And it had to be the first nightmare I ever had. I was five years-old when I dreamt of it. And I never forgot it ever since.
Me and my brother were just playing in a really big warehouse of hay. The entire warehouse was made of sheet iron but, because of the hay, it looked more like a barn.
Out of nowhere, the devil (in a child’s-view archetype: all-red skin, goatee, wings, tail, the works) rises from the ground and starts chasing us. Being children, we automatically ran out of fear of it. It was the devil and it was out to get us.
The warehouse was pretty big. We had a lot of space to run around and the devil was having a hard time catching up. It decided to make the chase more difficult for us by hurling balls of fire. This caused a lot of the surrounding hay to go up in flames.
So there we were, running around in a burning oven of hay, dodging the fireballs being flung towards our direction. My brother (three years-old back then) fell behind and was knocked down by the blast of one of the fireballs.
The devil seized the opportunity. He used his trident to take some burning hay and dumped it on my vulnerable brother. My brother was screaming for help while he was burning alive under the smoldering stack of hay. All I could do was watch as his form disappeared under the smoke and blaze.
I was stunned to see my brother die in the inferno. The devil saw it and started arrogantly walking towards me because he knew that I could not run away.
Suddenly, I just snapped. The devil was right, I did not run away. Instead, I charged at him, using my entire body to tackle him down. Surprised as he was, he was easily taken down. As he went down, I grabbed hold of his trident and impaled him to the ground.
He was, of course, still alive but he's not able to move. However, instead of a wince of pain, I saw from his face a wicked smile. Feeling mocked, I knelt down and began eating his flesh; starting with his arm. He then began laughing maniacally as I performed this carnal deed.
It is then, when I woke up. With the taste of demon-flesh in my mouth.
It felt so real. I could never forget its taste. It is reminiscent of dried onions with an earthy undertone (probably the reason why I hate onions). A taste that still lingers in my mouth up this day.
I never really knew what this dream meant. And I guess, I never really wanted to find out. Being able to dream something like that at the tender age of five could say a lot about my psyche.
The reason why I told of this dream that has been haunting me is because I wanted to get rid of some unnecessary mental baggage. I'm just dealing with so much right now that I'd rather focus on what I need to face. I never really told anyone about this dream, so maybe, just maybe, if I put it in writing, I might be able to let it go.
Music: Led Zeppelin - Immigrant Song
I am a self-proclaimed dreamer, which makes it apparently obvious that I often like to remember my dreams and study their meanings.
I've dreamt a lot about lots of stuff which I often times tell my friends about, for consultation. After talking about it with my friends, discussing its potential meaning, I just let the dream go and eventually forget it.
There is, however, one dream (or in this case, nightmare) that I've never forgotten. And it had to be the first nightmare I ever had. I was five years-old when I dreamt of it. And I never forgot it ever since.
Me and my brother were just playing in a really big warehouse of hay. The entire warehouse was made of sheet iron but, because of the hay, it looked more like a barn.
Out of nowhere, the devil (in a child’s-view archetype: all-red skin, goatee, wings, tail, the works) rises from the ground and starts chasing us. Being children, we automatically ran out of fear of it. It was the devil and it was out to get us.
The warehouse was pretty big. We had a lot of space to run around and the devil was having a hard time catching up. It decided to make the chase more difficult for us by hurling balls of fire. This caused a lot of the surrounding hay to go up in flames.
So there we were, running around in a burning oven of hay, dodging the fireballs being flung towards our direction. My brother (three years-old back then) fell behind and was knocked down by the blast of one of the fireballs.
The devil seized the opportunity. He used his trident to take some burning hay and dumped it on my vulnerable brother. My brother was screaming for help while he was burning alive under the smoldering stack of hay. All I could do was watch as his form disappeared under the smoke and blaze.
I was stunned to see my brother die in the inferno. The devil saw it and started arrogantly walking towards me because he knew that I could not run away.
Suddenly, I just snapped. The devil was right, I did not run away. Instead, I charged at him, using my entire body to tackle him down. Surprised as he was, he was easily taken down. As he went down, I grabbed hold of his trident and impaled him to the ground.
He was, of course, still alive but he's not able to move. However, instead of a wince of pain, I saw from his face a wicked smile. Feeling mocked, I knelt down and began eating his flesh; starting with his arm. He then began laughing maniacally as I performed this carnal deed.
It is then, when I woke up. With the taste of demon-flesh in my mouth.
It felt so real. I could never forget its taste. It is reminiscent of dried onions with an earthy undertone (probably the reason why I hate onions). A taste that still lingers in my mouth up this day.
I never really knew what this dream meant. And I guess, I never really wanted to find out. Being able to dream something like that at the tender age of five could say a lot about my psyche.
The reason why I told of this dream that has been haunting me is because I wanted to get rid of some unnecessary mental baggage. I'm just dealing with so much right now that I'd rather focus on what I need to face. I never really told anyone about this dream, so maybe, just maybe, if I put it in writing, I might be able to let it go.
posted by caitiff at 10:52 PM
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