Still Waiting For A Good Day
Mood: Contemplating on a Kamikaze run
Music: New Found Glory - Head On Collision
My situation is a perfect example of how having the reputation of being strong can bite you in the ass after a while. When everybody believes in your ability to help yourself so much that they'd rather not bother helping you... Even if you ask them to (or at least imply it).
As many of you can tell, I am not exactly in a very good state of mental health. If asking God to help you sleep every night by begging (as in BEGGING) Him to give you a mindwipe is the basis of a healthy mind, I wouldn't be worried nor would I be letting out screams muffled by my pillow, coat, or any other audio-retardant items I could find. Obviously, after careful review of my automatic responses and impulses, I tried to reach out to some of my closest friends.
Unfortunately, they're all too busy. Boohoo... What am I to do? It would be very audacious of me if I forced the issue and asked them to help me. Oh, woe is me. I guess, I'll just have to settle with the you-can-do-it, stay-strong, and heres-a-list-of-what-I-have-do-and-its-up-to-your-conscience-if-you-still-want-my-help responses. I'm strong enough, anyway. I can take it. Yes, I can. I'm not yet on the virge of suicide, I'm just two-inches from the edge of my sanity and two-inches is a looooooong way to go. As all of them have known me, I am the immobile pillar-of-strength that makes mountains look like they sway with the gusts of the wind.
This post is not meant to demean my closest friends. I love them very much. I'm just trying to preserve my sanity by letting the excess sarcasm in my mouth foam out. I can't blame them. I mean, they are busy. Who am I to intrude?
Please forgive me if any of you are reading this.
I have no one else to blame but myself. Through the years, I've almost always dealt with problems by my lonesome. And if ever I did ask for help, all I needed to know was that my friends are there (even if they don't say a word) and I'll be alright. I guess everyone I knew is used to me being like that, even in the direst of circumstances.
Oh well, I'll just have to wing it as usual. I'll just wait if anyone is in the mood or not too busy to help. Or I'll just do the usual and just wait for a good day.
Music: New Found Glory - Head On Collision
My situation is a perfect example of how having the reputation of being strong can bite you in the ass after a while. When everybody believes in your ability to help yourself so much that they'd rather not bother helping you... Even if you ask them to (or at least imply it).
As many of you can tell, I am not exactly in a very good state of mental health. If asking God to help you sleep every night by begging (as in BEGGING) Him to give you a mindwipe is the basis of a healthy mind, I wouldn't be worried nor would I be letting out screams muffled by my pillow, coat, or any other audio-retardant items I could find. Obviously, after careful review of my automatic responses and impulses, I tried to reach out to some of my closest friends.
Unfortunately, they're all too busy. Boohoo... What am I to do? It would be very audacious of me if I forced the issue and asked them to help me. Oh, woe is me. I guess, I'll just have to settle with the you-can-do-it, stay-strong, and heres-a-list-of-what-I-have-do-and-its-up-to-your-conscience-if-you-still-want-my-help responses. I'm strong enough, anyway. I can take it. Yes, I can. I'm not yet on the virge of suicide, I'm just two-inches from the edge of my sanity and two-inches is a looooooong way to go. As all of them have known me, I am the immobile pillar-of-strength that makes mountains look like they sway with the gusts of the wind.
This post is not meant to demean my closest friends. I love them very much. I'm just trying to preserve my sanity by letting the excess sarcasm in my mouth foam out. I can't blame them. I mean, they are busy. Who am I to intrude?
Please forgive me if any of you are reading this.
I have no one else to blame but myself. Through the years, I've almost always dealt with problems by my lonesome. And if ever I did ask for help, all I needed to know was that my friends are there (even if they don't say a word) and I'll be alright. I guess everyone I knew is used to me being like that, even in the direst of circumstances.
Oh well, I'll just have to wing it as usual. I'll just wait if anyone is in the mood or not too busy to help. Or I'll just do the usual and just wait for a good day.
posted by caitiff at 3:06 PM
0 comments
