Dreamer's Dilemma

Mood: Emotional shutdown is an option
Music: Bana - Shell

I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, really.

After weeks of dreamless slumbers, I was finally able to drift into reverie last night. It was a really good dream, everything was perfect. It was really what it was: A dreamland, a place where everything I ever wanted and needed was.

Of course, as with every dream, it ended when I woke up. The dream was so fantastic, something in me wanted to go back to sleep. So I did. Everytime I woke up, I forced myself back to sleep.

I was suddenly disturbed by my attitude and desire to live in the dream that I had to snap-out of it and used sheer force of will to get on my feet so I could start my day.

I'm really scared.

Two opposing polarities of desire are battling within me: the desire to never wake up and the desire to face the dreadful day. There is no clear winner yet but I know one thing: I will always suffer in the end.