Dreamer's Dilemma
Mood: Emotional shutdown is an option
Music: Bana - Shell
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, really.
After weeks of dreamless slumbers, I was finally able to drift into reverie last night. It was a really good dream, everything was perfect. It was really what it was: A dreamland, a place where everything I ever wanted and needed was.
Of course, as with every dream, it ended when I woke up. The dream was so fantastic, something in me wanted to go back to sleep. So I did. Everytime I woke up, I forced myself back to sleep.
I was suddenly disturbed by my attitude and desire to live in the dream that I had to snap-out of it and used sheer force of will to get on my feet so I could start my day.
I'm really scared.
Two opposing polarities of desire are battling within me: the desire to never wake up and the desire to face the dreadful day. There is no clear winner yet but I know one thing: I will always suffer in the end.
Music: Bana - Shell
I don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing, really.
After weeks of dreamless slumbers, I was finally able to drift into reverie last night. It was a really good dream, everything was perfect. It was really what it was: A dreamland, a place where everything I ever wanted and needed was.
Of course, as with every dream, it ended when I woke up. The dream was so fantastic, something in me wanted to go back to sleep. So I did. Everytime I woke up, I forced myself back to sleep.
I was suddenly disturbed by my attitude and desire to live in the dream that I had to snap-out of it and used sheer force of will to get on my feet so I could start my day.
I'm really scared.
Two opposing polarities of desire are battling within me: the desire to never wake up and the desire to face the dreadful day. There is no clear winner yet but I know one thing: I will always suffer in the end.
posted by caitiff at 4:15 PM
2 Comments:
i dun see anything wrong wanting to go back to sleep and catch up with ur dream. besides, like u said, it was a first after a series of dreamless nights...
nice blog...
we all suffer. it's a question of whether we want to get out of such painful situations or not. sometimes we have to live with it, for the sake of someone or something dear to us. knowing that we bear our pain for a reason perhaps will make it less agonizing in the end.
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