Thursday, March 02, 2006

Confessions of a Twenty-something Drama Person

Mood: Dramatic
Music: Bump of Chicken - Lostman

I've been overly dramatic towards people these past few days. I don't really know why but a lot of self-doubt has been lingering over me; hovering above my head as a vulture would over a dying buffalo.

It's been 4 months ever since I started handing out my resumé. So far I've only gotten 2 interviews and no callbacks. As much as I fight it, I still can't help but think if I'm good enough to get into any job at all. What is wrong with me? Is there a mispelled word on my resumé? Do I have a zit on my photo? Did I not use the right kind of paper? Please tell me!!!

It was just weird talking to people today. I have to confess that I feel really out of it. All I ever did while talking to my friends today was apologize or make them feel down as well or something. The melancholy is probably too much that it's spilling over and reaching anyone I talk to.

I'm trying my darned hardest to fight it by praying, remembering my philosophy and playing the harmonica. Unfortunately, it didn't help much. It's just one of those days when I just really needed to make myself (and other people) feel miserable.

I'll still try and fight. I will never give up. I'll snap out of it eventually. I just have to keep on trying.

And of course, if it wouldn't be too much of a hassle, I would also like to ask for your prayers. I'd gladly pray for you, as well.

Speaking of confessions, I was watching Pinoy Big Brother - Celebrity Edition and was somewhat happy that Rustom Padilla finally came out of the closet and admitted he's gay. It must've been liberating for someone like him who has harboured 30-plus years worth of anxiety and apprehension about coming-out. Seeing someone conquer his own demons is kind of inspiring.

Surprisingly enough, I was also able to catch Payong Kapatid, another ABS-CBN show, which featured homosexuality among the youth. ABS-CBN seems to be clinging on to Rustom's coming-out buzz.

I'll be expecting more shows on ABS-CBN which will feature the aforementioned situation because it seems that there's a new TV-topic bandwagon to ride. I won't be surprised if GMA follows suit either.